you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
