Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
