I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
