Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
