I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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