Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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