Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
