You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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