I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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