So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
