..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
