Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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