We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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