what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
