Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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