I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
