thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
