what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
