my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
