Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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