i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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