Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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