but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
