Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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