we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
