Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
