Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
