That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize