my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
