Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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