But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Never joke about your clitoris.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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