I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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