Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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