Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize