dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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