She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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