Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize