You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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