No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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