did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
