Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
