I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
