We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
