was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
