He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
