New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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