Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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