i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Farmville is her only friend.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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