We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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