I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
