you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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