I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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