So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
