We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
