We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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