just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
