you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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