ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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