I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
