shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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