What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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