This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize