Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
