i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize