I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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