Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
