you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
