Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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