Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
