Taylor Swift is so right about you.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
