i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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