people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
