I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize