What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
