Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
