her vagine was all disorganized.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
