mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
